The best gift I have ever received from a student is a red pen.
I felt so guilty as I reflected on my actions.

Being hopeless at time management, I vaguely took notice as the kid placed the simple gift in the bag that i was holding out for them to put in their gifts.
I dont know what was I thinking; going around with a bag for the kids to 'dump' their gifts in.
I was so time pressed that I couldn't care less.
These little kids have spent half their pocket money buying plastic flowers from the bookshop.
My hands were already full and so I made my way around the classroom in the most insincere way.

I dug into the bag when i could finally take a breather.
Hand-drawn cards with sweet messages and supposedly, drawings of 'me', countless stalks of flowers, interesting small gifts and a red pen from the eight-year olds.
Wow.. i was touched.

The red pen.
I took awhile to recollect the happenings in the classroom. That little girl staring up at me with her bright eyes, her lips pursed. She looked pleased with what she has gotten for me.
This girl, was the one i had tried to avoid channeling too much of my energy into.
I realised that she likes my attention and would brighten up when i came over to give her extra help with her work.
She could barely spell any words other than her name.

I actually gave up on her halfway.
I thought hard about why i even chose to be where i am today.
And I felt so bad... I was once like her.
The one that was struggling with schoolwork.
The one that felt so hopeless and unmotivated in the classroom.
The one who craved just a little attention from an adult.
The one who almost gave up on herself.
But.. my teachers stepped in. They made a world of a difference.
They didnt let me fall.
They gave me extra guidance and coaching in school work.
They looked out for me and made an effort to build a relationship with me.
In fact, they did everything they could except to give up on me.
I was once in her shoes.

I tore out a small piece of paper and wrote my resolution.
It serves as a reminder and i carry it with me (in my pencil box).
This red pen is the most meaningful and painful gift I've received.